So we finally killed Argus in the weekend team, and got the rank for it. We still have 4 months or so to go until the new expansion comes out though, so we still have a good amount of time to continue farm.

And what happens? People start leaving because they want to rest and oh well screw you to everyone else who wants to continue. And other people jump ship when it’s easier to because our guild got them their kill. And almost all the rest show up and act like they’re doing us all an enormous favor by just being here, and complain about how shit their teammates are, because we’re not reclearing with ease.

Do they not realize I spend hours recruiting every day, have been for months since my public meltdown from the stress accumulating over a year happened, and which triggered one officer to quit completely and the other quit her officer job in essence? Do they not realize that in order for them to relax and just need to show up for raid and enjoy the game, others have to suffer stress and unhappiness and pressure, and work unrelentingly even through the most miserable situations (when have I ever had any time to recover from being betrayed by my officers or told that I suck by the very people I sacrifice all my time for)? So many people play this game to “have fun”, but do they not realize that to play at this level, it requires a lot of work that’s not fun, and that at least in my guild it’s work that has been almost entirely my job, with few people ever willing to help with what’s really needed? Do they not realize that their selfishness in only caring about whether or not they have fun is what causes most guilds to disband and most guild masters who try to continue to be really unhappy? People say it’s a game so the point is to have fun. What recruitment officer does so for fun? What GM deals with the drama shit that guildies find so hard to avoid for fun? And if these things aren’t all dealt with, then these gamers say “this guild is killing my enjoyment for the game, and if I can’t have fun anymore I’m not going to stay no matter how much worse it makes things for my team”.

I’ve become so much more bitter of a person than I was before I made this guild. It disgusts me to see how I see things now. I used to focus on the beauty and good in everything, and now I see selfishness and a willingness to harm those who do the most for them in almost all the people I come across in this game.