Recently, I’ve been watching Syzygy raid almost every week, watching the raid leader of the weekend team, Shandare, stream. And my feelings yoyo.

On the one hand, the atmosphere and the friendliness between raiders is usually really good, and it makes me feel like I want to be part of that again. Also, Shandare is like the most amazing raid leader, and I want to be a part of what he’s a part of. I also know I would enjoy the game if I did not need to be responsible for a guild, yet was able to contribute and make things better by being there.

On the other hand, during my research I am reminded of all the stress and unhappiness that happened before. Also, I don’t know if I can play WoW and be casual about it, and I do not want WoW to be my entire life again.

So. Ambivalence.