I have recently mainly been writing about the stuff that upsets me, regarding WoW. But that is not to say there isn’t stuff that fulfills me and makes me happy. Recently I have been raiding with the guild more, despite not being able to make all raid times. And it’s been delightful. I’ve enjoyed the raiding in itself, enjoyed feeling that I performed well, and most of all enjoyed the feeling that I can actively bring more positivity and sense of camaraderie to the team, through how I talk and what I say.

It feels that some of the hard work I put into making my characters more powerful and able to become assets have paid off.

However, doing more raiding means spending yet more time in game. It also means I’m closer to people in guild, and more aware of any underlying issues I had been shielded from before. It means more time spent playing the game, more time talking to people. But what has been the biggest thing recently, is the extra time I now spend on recruiting.

Recently, a couple raiders have decided to stop raiding with us mid-tier. This happens to almost every guild at about this time, so it’s not surprising. But there are repercussions. Our raid leader Shandare is already stretched thin basically shouldering the entire burden of leadership right now. And I know he had quite a bit of trust in these raiders before, I imagine them bailing must be a blow to him. Therefore, I’m delighted to be able to help him with recruitment, so that especially right after he’s been knocked down he isn’t further buried by the mountain that recruitment is.

So every day, I have been spending on average 4 hours recruiting. Looking through recruitment forums, adding people as friends, reaching out to them, talking to them, setting up time to interview them or have them come in so we can see them perform. It has been a lot. In this past week I’ve talked to maybe 30 potential recruits. We will be lucky if even a couple work out. And I will need to do this for the next few weeks.

On a personal level, it has been rough. I came back to try to enjoy the game, and I am on a path towards burnout even as in some other ways I’m finally able to enjoy the fruit of my previous labor. But what can you do? Without recruitment, we would seriously be set back by these players leaving. The setback won’t be obvious, but we will progress a little slower, with a slightly smaller roster. Then one day two or three people will be unable to make raid on the same day and our progression will be set back by an entire week. Then some of the stronger players will start wanting to leave, and things will continue to snowball. I have experienced this on various levels countless times.

You know. These players who decide to stop raiding with their guilds, often it’s for reasons like “I stopped feeling like I enjoy raid” or “I get frustrated a lot during raid” and it no longer feels worth it to them to make the effort required to keep raiding with us. It is legitimate that they want to find a way to enjoy themselves more, but do they not realize the work that is required to provide 25 people with a decently enjoyable atmosphere? In searching for their own happiness, do they not realize they are directly responsible for the stress and unhappiness of the guild leaders? Most of the ones who leave us now are, relatively speaking, wonderful. They give us a few weeks to try to deal with the situation, instead of just giving us a day or two, which most WoW raiders do. But no matter how wonderful they are in trying to be considerate, they still seem to not realize the immense amount of work they create for us in their quest for their own happiness. They don’t seem to realize how, in order to for themselves be less frustrated, they create a situation where either the guild is set on a path towards failure, or else the leadership needs to sacrifice even more than usual to bandage the wound their leaving creates.

And this is why most WoW leaders burn out. Not only burn out, but become cynical and unable to trust people to not bail on them. All the work required to maintain a guild, in which there will always be people who choose to pursue their own happiness despite repercussions to their team, is enormous.