I think I’ve been portrayed as a highly emotional and unreasonable person. That because of my trauma I cannot take any criticism at all. Therefore I don’t have it in me to be a good leader.

I agree that my trauma is my weakness. Whether this affects my ability to lead is something I wonder at though. I have been this traumatized for a long time, and I kept leading for over a year during this. While I was leading, there were things I didn’t do well. But overall I did well enough to keep our progression at a decently high level, to keep 2 groups running, and to win huge devotion from my raiders. There were things I didn’t deal with well, but overall I think my achievements show that even though I didn’t handle everything perfectly, I’m a fucking good leader.

And I think about the narrative going about that I would require everyone basically to be a sycophant and repress all their frustration because I would not be able to take any feedback. And I think about, in my weakness, what it is that I ask of others. Do I ask that they not give me feedback? No. I ask simply that they do not bash people by mounting personal attacks on them, and that they communicate their feedback constructively and without meanness. Is this too much to ask? I wonder, do people think they are being reasonable if they feel that leaders should be able and willing always to receive feedback in a mean way, to receive feedback as personal attacks on them or those they support? How can it be that we live in a world where what I ask, simply to treat others with kindness, makes me the unreasonable one?