Since all the stuff happened, I hadn’t done any yoga at all. I used to do yoga daily, and though I would stop at times, the pauses never lasted for longer than half a week to a week. But this time has been about a month. I simply could not bring myself to do it.

And it wasn’t just yoga. I couldn’t bring myself to do most things. I couldn’t bring myself to eat, even. Loved ones in my life know of my situation, so they stayed with me, and for some time actually had to spoon feed me, since that was the only way to get me to eat. Indeed, when Syzygy had its first crisis, during our first raid week, I didn’t eat or sleep at all that week. Not until I had saved the guild. And this time was much more difficult because of all the baggage and trauma that I now carry, that I did not carry before.

But recently, I’ve been eating by myself again. Not only that, I’ve started caring about eating healthy food again. I went through a week of kinda eating junk food, with few vegetables and fruit, but now I want to eat a lot of healthy foods. And, yesterday, I started doing yoga again.

My therapist said that in certain mental situations the needs of the body become invisible to the brain, and that my recent evolution on this front means that I’m recovering.

I’m grateful I’m recovering. My pain before was so immensely overwhelming, and though it is still there, I’m grateful I am no longer drowning in it.

And I’m thankful that I can do yoga again.